Some situations are viewed in black and white; right and wrong. Yet, many people think situations also have a grey area where solutions are not so easily discerned. This is not just about the choices people make, but the thought process they go through to arrive at their decisions.
What Do You Think? Submitted for Your Consideration and Conversation
The Thanksgiving holiday break is approaching. You are getting ready for a holiday with your children, and they are getting excited for the school break.
You’ve made arrangements for the long weekend with a meal at home, as well as a visit to your ex in-laws so they can spend time with your children, their grandchildren. You maintain a good connection with them, despite the less than amicable one with your ex.
Before the kids’ school break starts, your mother calls and tells you that she and your father are coming for the weekend. You excitedly tell your mother what you are making for the dinner. You also mention your plans to take the kids to see their other grandparents Thursday evening. The call ends soon after, with your mother saying she will see you soon.
You spend the next few days doing extra shopping and preparing the house for your visitors. The kids come home from their last school day ready for the long holiday break. They are very excited to see “all their grandparents” — even your teenager seems to be looking forward to the visits.
The holiday arrives. Your turkey and side dishes come out well. You all enjoy a great meal together. The children fill in your parents on all their happenings. You get to hear how your parents are doing, and get updates on their neighbors.
After everyone has eaten and you’ve packed up some food to take with you, you tell your parents it’s time for you to take the children to see your ex’s parents. You yell out to the children to start getting ready and find their jackets.
As you turn to leave the kitchen, your parents are standing in the doorway. Your mother tells you that she and your father think that the kids should not visit their other grandparents. Your mother says that because your ex is not spending time with the children, it isn’t appropriate to let his family see them. She suggests that you all stay home.
What do you think? Do you think that your parents have the right to insist? Do you think you would find it easy to assert your choice? Or, would you give in to them and stay home? What do you think is the best way to handle the situation for your children’s sake?
Alternatively, what if you knew that your ex in-laws were not doing well financially, and that the meal you were taking would be all that they had for the holiday? Do you think that would help you feel stronger in standing up to your parents?