A woman went to a medical office where she was seen by one of the new doctors. After about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor […]
A mother mouse and her baby mouse are walking through a corn field one day, when a cat suddenly jumps at them from among the stalks. The mother mouse goes, “BARK!” and the cat runs […]
John had an awful day fishing on the lake. He sat in the blazing sun all day without catching any fish. On his way home, he stopped at the fish market and ordered four catfish. He told […]
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. […]
The teen walked up to his father and asked, “Dad, can you write in the dark?” Looking up from his newspaper, the Dad answered, “I think so, son. What is it you want me to write?” The […]
Just as little Jimmy’s party was getting started, the monsters came upon the town. Having just escaped from the nearby castle, they were hungry and looking for food. Two of the monsters began eating the […]
Tom, Dick and Harry went out to dinner. After dinner, they returned to their hotel. The hotel was 60 stories high and their rooms were at the top. Unfortunately, the elevator was not working. They made a […]
Joe came from a large family. He had five sisters and four brothers. One day he was looking through the family photo album with his mother when he noticed, in page after page, that all […]
A father had three boys. One evening, they were playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys “shot” his father and yelled, “Bang! You’re dead!” The father slumped to the ground […]
Two students stayed up late with friends and didn’t study for the upcoming test. Waking up the next morning, they were worried and made a plan to go to class late and make up a […]
The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. One week, he walked into the 4th grade class. The children were studying the US states. “How many […]
A fisherman was walking along the pier with a giant marlin. The fish was bigger than he was! On his way to the cleaning area, he joined a second fisherman who had a stringer with […]
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and the mother began putting away the groceries. The boy opened a box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What […]
The freight train was speeding along the tracks. As it came around a bend, the Engineer spotted a cow on the tracks a short distance ahead. Applying the brakes, he quickly realized the train was […]
What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing. It just waved! 07012012
While sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Patrick remarked to a fellow club member, “I’m not going to play golf with Jim anymore. He cheats!” “Why do you say that?” asked […]
The teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page picturing several national flags. She pointed to the American flag and asked, “What flag is this?” A little girl called out, “That’s the flag of our […]
One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, “You don’t have a chance, I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here”. “Yes”, snickered […]
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while, and then exclaimed, “I can hardly believe my […]
A couple take their first prenatal class. The husband is told to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stands up, saying, […]
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on several items, and then the auctioneer brought out a large parrot. The man really wanted this bird, so he got caught up […]
On Valentine’s day, a couple drove down the road for miles, not saying a word. They had been talking earlier, and the discussion led to an argument. So now, they drove along in silence. They […]
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat of his car. A police officer sees him go by and pulls him over. “You can’t drive around with the penguins in […]
A man is strolling past a university and suddenly remembers he has an important meeting that afternoon. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices […]
An eighty-year-old man was out fishing one day when he heard a voice. He looked, but no one was around. After a few minutes, he heard something again, “Psst. Psst, hey you.” The man looked around […]
One day, young Sarah was watching her mother make a beef roast. Her mother cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it, and put it in the roasting pan. Sarah asked, “Why do […]
Jack, an occasional hunter, visits the local outfitters and asks, “Do you sell camouflage jackets?” “Yes, we do,” replies the salesman, “Unfortunately, we can’t find them.”
It’s the evening before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the shop door. “Please let me in,” the man yells desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my […]
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