A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s disgusting,” his dad replies. “Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” After dinner, the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want […]
A little boy was in his big sister’s wedding. As he came down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing them, he would put his hands up […]
An out-of-towner visiting the big city at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit a restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous trip. He put in his name for a table and began to […]
A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.” The following Sunday, as he prepared to […]
At the movie theater, a young man returning to his seat tapped the arm of the woman in the seat at the end of the row. “Excuse me,” he says, “but did I step on […]
Police officers respond to a crime scene behind a grocery store. A homicide detective is already there. “What happened?” asks one of the officers. “Male, mid-twenties, dead and covered in bran flakes.” “Good grief,” says […]
A little boy opened the big, old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked […]
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can believe this!” he exclaimed. “That’s the […]
A cleric found himself wondering whether there were any golf courses in Heaven. He even began to ask the question in his prayers. One day, in answer to his prayers, he received a direct answer […]
“In English,” the Professor said to the class, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, like Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive […]
A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a grape stuck up one nostril. The man says, “Doctor, this […]
It was a stiflingly hot spell one July in Eastern NC. It was tough just stepping outside for the mail! On a little highway, a sign went up on the side of the road one Friday morning. The […]
Harry walked over to the minister after services. The minister asked, “Where have you been the past few weeks?” “You know Father, I am really stuck in a quandary,” Harry said. “I would like to attend church […]
Three monks decided to practice meditation together. They sat by the side of a shimmering lake and closed their eyes in concentration. Suddenly, the first monk stood up and said, “I forgot my mat.” He steeped miraculously onto […]
A horse trots into a bar. The bartender says “Hey!” The horse says, “Sure.” Issue date: Oct 25–Nov 7, 2013
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling […]
A man’s car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow. Startled, the […]
A very dirty little boy came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, “Who am I?” Ready to play the game, she said, “I don’t know! Who are you?” “Wow!” cried the child. “Mrs. […]
Jack took the day off from work and went fishing off of the pier. He took his cell phone along, and despite his hope to relax, he spent most of the morning answering business calls on his phone. […]
Mark walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you. I know the economy isn’t great, but I have three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.” After a few […]
A man was talking to the family doctor. He said, “Doc, I think my wife is going deaf.” The doctor replied, “Well, we can do some testing. But here’s something you can try on her to test […]
The young boy opened his birthday gift from his grandmother, and discovered it was a water gun. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. The grandmother smiled, but the boy’s father was not so […]
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