It’s the evening before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the shop door. “Please let me in,” the man yells desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my […]
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a […]
“How long have you been driving without a tail light?” asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out and ran to the rear of his car. He put his face in his hands […]
A pregnant woman was involved in a car accident and at the hospital she fell into a coma. When she awoke days later, she immediately saw that she was no longer pregnant, and asked, “Doctor, what happened […]
There was a haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by the town folk — the ghost which resided there was feared by all. However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the […]
One dark night, two young men were walking home and decided to take a shortcut through a cemetery. When they got about half-way through, they were startled by a noise and stopped walking. There was a […]
In 1921, as Albert Einstein was making rounds on the lecture circuit, he found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as his chauffeur was driving him to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein […]
There was two old dollar bills. One was a $100 dollar bill and the other was a $1 dollar bill. The $100 dollar bill said, “I’ve lived a good life. I’ve been to the amusement park, the […]
So many have heard tales of the US Air Force’s super-secret base known as “Area 51.” Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks at Area 51 were surprised to see a small Cessna airplane landing at their […]
A naval student was being questioned by an old sea captain. “Son, what would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on starboard?” “Throw out an anchor, sir.” “Well, what would you do if […]
A man is walking away from the lake carrying two fish in a bucket. He is approached by a game warden who asks to see his fishing license. The fisherman says to the game warden, “I […]
Two buddies, John and Bill were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, John and Bill discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. […]
For fifteen years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9am on the dot. He had never missed a day of work, and he was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9am passed without Johnson’s arrival, […]
So, a couple drops off their car at a repair shop. They tell the service manager behind the counter that their car is making clunking sounds any time they turn. The mechanic gets the repair order and […]
A woman was at work when the babysitter called and said that the woman’s daughter was sick and had a fever. The woman left work, and stopped by the drug store to get medicine. When she returned to her car, she […]
The new golfer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit the ball into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into the woods on the other side. Finally, after banging away several […]
A cowboy walks into a saloon and orders whiskey. The bar is empty, unusual for that time of day. So, when the bartender brings his whiskey, the cowboy asks, “Where is everybody?” The bartender replies, […]
A naval student was being questioned by an old sea captain. “Son, what would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on starboard?” “Throw out an anchor, sir.” “Well, what would you do if […]
Each morning at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small town received a call from a man asking the time. One day the operator asked him why he called at the same time every […]
One morning in the forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After several hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, […]
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s disgusting,” his dad replies. “Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” After dinner, the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want […]
A little boy was in his big sister’s wedding. As he came down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing them, he would put his hands up […]
An out-of-towner visiting the big city at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit a restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous trip. He put in his name for a table and began to […]
A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.” The following Sunday, as he prepared to […]
Joke du juour
At the movie theater, a young man returning to his seat tapped the arm of the woman in the seat at the end of the row. “Excuse me,” he says, “but did I step on […]
Police officers respond to a crime scene behind a grocery store. A homicide detective is already there. “What happened?” asks one of the officers. “Male, mid-twenties, dead and covered in bran flakes.” “Good grief,” says […]
A little boy opened the big, old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked […]
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